Books about mommy issues

Books about mommy issues DEFAULT

7 Books Anyone with a Toxic Family Member Should Read

You love your dad, but whenever he calls, you cringe. Your mom is constantly nitpicking your appearance. Your sister won’t stop comparing her life to yours—and it makes you feel really terrible about yourself. If any of this sounds familiar, you’ve got some toxic family dynamics going on. Here, seven books that might help (or at least make you feel a bit less alone).

RELATED: 6 Words You Should Say to a Toxic Person to Defuse the Situation

whole again


Whole Again: Healing Your Heart and Rediscovering Your True Self After Toxic Relationships by Jackson MacKenzie

Ever heard of the drama triangle? Basically, it’s an unhealthy pattern that can start when a well-meaning people-pleaser (ie., you) tries to reach out and help a toxic person with a problem in order to distract themself from their own low self-esteem. But no matter what they do, it’s impossible to really get to the core of a person’s issues, so they enter a cycle of trying to help more and more until they’ve depleted all of their own energy, which makes them feel even worse. Meanwhile, the toxic person will keep asking more and more of you, continuing the cycle. This useful read highlights the subtleties of all sorts of toxic relationships and helps you look for patterns so you can break the chain of continually being drawn in by the same type of toxic behavior again and again.

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running with scissors1


Running with Scissors by Augusten Burroughs

Sometimes you need a break from self-help books and just want to commiserate with someone who’s been there. Even if you already read Burroughs’s hit debut memoir when it first came out, it’s worth another look. Sure, your stepsister is a huge pain, but at least your mom didn’t send you away to live with her therapist and his kids in a filthy Victorian mansion?

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codependent no more


Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself by Melody Beattie

We know what you’re thinking: “I’m not the problem. My toxic relationship with my mother has nothing to do with me, and everything to do with how messed up she is.” It’s time to recognize the actions you could be taking to stop her toxic habits in their tracks. The first step? Admitting how large a role you play in this relationship and recognizing the ways your mother feeds off of your behavior and responses. The self-help author’s best-selling book focuses mostly on people who have close, co-dependent relationships with addicts, but it’s packed with extremely valuable advice for anybody who has a difficult time setting boundaries and standing their ground.

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the glass catle


The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls

Can the children of toxic parents emerge as competent, successful adults? Jeannette Walls is proof that the answer can be a resounding yes. In her wildly successful memoir, The Glass Castle, the author recounts her extremely dysfunctional childhood in West Virginia, and the tactics her then-homeless parents use to try to reel her back into their toxic worlds throughout her adulthood. Uplifting? Definitely not. Inspiring, if you’re the child of toxic parents? Absolutely.

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nasty people

McGraw-Hill Education

Nasty People by Jay Carter, Psy.D.

First published in , this revised edition provides extremely useful tips about how to turn the tables on toxic family members, friends and co-workers who have previously held the upper hand. Carter refers to toxic behavior as invalidation, aka “putting other people down to bring yourself up.” He maintains that only 1 percent of people use invalidation maliciously, while 20 percent do it semi-consciously as a defense mechanism. The rest of us do it completely unintentionally (yep, even you have been an invalidator at some point). Once you start to recognize the behaviors of an invalidator—and realize that most of the time, they probably aren’t doing it to harm you—you’ll be on the right track to gaining control of your feelings about the relationship.

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the liars club

Penguin Books

The Liars&#x; Club by Mary Karr

With alcoholic, mentally ill parents, the cards seemed stacked against Karr and her sister. But Karr has spun her story into literary (and often comedic) gold that anyone dealing with a toxic parent should read. When you’re feeling down about your own family issues, just remember this gem of a line: “A dysfunctional family is any family with more than one person in it.”

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adult children

New Harbinger Publications

Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay C. Gibson, Psy.D.

You’re a grown-ass adult, but whenever you’re in the same room with your family, you feel like you’re 12 again. If you have toxic parents, it’s a major clue that your issues with them haven’t been resolved. In her popular book, Gibson breaks down difficult parents into four types: the emotional parent, the driven parent, the passive parent and the rejecting parent. Identifying the ways they operate and taking a more psychological approach (as opposed to an emotional one) might help you see your parents in a new light—and realize their behavior never had anything to do with you.

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RELATED: 5 Traits All Toxic People


13 Books That Will Change How You See Your Mom

It’s hard to think of your mother as anything other than a mother. Although becoming a mother has the capacity to change that, even then it’s difficult to remember that the woman who answered your every cry and changed your dirty diapers actually had a whole life before you. And, aside from, relationships with mothers are famous for being complicated and weird. Whole books and theories (thanks, Freud) and more than a few therapist’s appointments have been dedicated to understanding that particular dynamic.

Everyone’s relationship with her mother is different, but whether you and mom have had nothing but decade after decade of blissful happiness and mutual admiration, or if you cringe every time you see her face pop up on your caller ID, every mom-kid relationship could use a little scrutiny. After all, we’re talking about the woman that used to literally clean your puke off of her favorite blouse. If nothing else, that, at least, complicates things. And “complicated” is something literature does oh-so well.

So, check out some of these books for a refreshing new look at the inner-workings of mom and your relationship with her.

The Golden Notebookby Doris Lessing

A staple of feminist literature, The Golden Notebook is a great portrayal of a woman and a mother struggling against society and within herself to reconcile what it means to be a woman in the '60s. Through four different notebooks, the protagonist chronicles and imagines different aspects of her own life. It might be a great way to look back at the concerns and social pressures of the women coming up in an era that your own mother may have come of age in. Even if your mom wasn’t a '60s baby, the protagonist’s four notebooks are a strong reminder of the different hats your mother wears as a woman in the world.

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The Buried Giant by Kazuo Ishiguro

Funny enough. In this book you don’t actually get much perspective from the mother/wife’s perspective, but the book’s memory-deficient elderly couple in search of their son will have you wanting to trying out a little selective amnesia yourself, so you can forget whatever trivial beef there is between you and mom and just start fresh before it’s too late. Plus, you get to read about dragons and knights and Arthurian England while you're at it.

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Mom & Me & Mom by Maya Angelou

Angelou had a complicated relationship with her own mother, whom she did not really begin to get to know until she was In this book she shows the slow growth of a late-blooming relationship with her own mother, as she goes from calling her “lady” to “mother” and, finally, “mom.” It’ll have you looking at the ways your own relationship with your mother has grown, broken, and changed over the years… and it’ll have you looking forward to the new developments. And you should absolutely read it alongsde…

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Letter to My Daughterby Maya Angelou

Maya Angelou never actually had a daughter… but she did eventually have a son. She wrote this book as a letter to an imagined daughter. Read alongside her book about her relationship with her own mother, it is a revelation about the ways that our mothers shape the way we go on to mother our daughters (or sons).

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The Twelve Tribes of Hattie by Ayana Mathis

Maybe your mother was a little on the colder side, not quite so free with the hugs as you’ve seen mothers be in movies and such. Maybe mom qualifies as a bonafide matriarch with her brood of 10 plus kids or so. Well, then, you might recognize her in The Twelve Tribes of Hattie, which looks at the life of a mother and her children over several decades as both struggle against everything the world throws at them in the decades of the Great Migration, making it an especially great book for those whose mothers were coming of age during those eras.

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The Awakening by Kate Chopin

You mother had sex… with multiple people probably. You mother still has sex. I know these things are hard to face, even as a full-grown adult yourself. But you’re just gonna have to face it. Reading The Awakening is not only an essential of feminist literature, and it’s also a rude awakening for those who have yet to accept that your mother is as sexual a being as you are. Maybe you and mom can check it off your TBR lists by reading it together even (don't worry, there aren't any super explicit sex scenes or anything). I know, I know… ew, and other things.

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Breath, Eyes, Memoryby Edwidge Danticat

Some mother-child relationships are complicated by things outside of either one’s control. Breath, Eyes, Memory looks closely at such a relationship — a child conceived by violent rape, and the mother who still suffers daily with the memory of it, a memory that her own daughter is a reminder of. If you think your relationship with mom is complicated…

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Building Storiesby Chris Ware

This “book” plays with story format in some seriously interesting ways, literally coming in a giant box that tells the story through a comic book, a newsletter, a sort of game-board, pamphlets. But it’s not all just some kitschy way to play with the presentation of literature. The story is also really amazing. It does an incredible job of painting the picture of daily life and all its mundanities without boring you to tears. You watch the main protagonist grow from a lonely young insecure woman to wife and mother whose whole world is her daughter, and who deeply regrets the dreams she didn’t pursue earlier in life. It'll make you wonder about the dreams your own mom might have in the back of her mind.

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Are You My Mother? by Alison Bechdel

Alison Bechdel has spent a great deal of time on the therapist’s couch examining her relationship with her emotionally distant, artist mother, who spent much of Bechdel’s childhood married to a closeted homosexual man. Although your own relationship might not be so complicated, anyone would benefit from the careful and intriguing analysis that Bechdel offers up (probably enhanced by all those couch sessions).

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The Joy Luck Club by Amy Tan

You know how sometimes you’d go over to a friend’s house and, seeing how their parents were, you were suddenly very grateful for your own parents? (Sometimes that happened in reverse, too…). Well, The Joy Luck Club gives you a glimpse into the lives of three different mothers who immigrated from China and their American-born daughters. These comparisons force you to try to look at your own relationship with your mother through another’s eyes.

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Storming Caesar’s Palace by Annelise Orleck

Lest you think motherly magic only extends to finding in seconds that thing you just spent hours looking for or somehow remembering the birthdays of every single one of your cousins, nieces, aunts, and uncles… Storming Caesar’s Palace is the story of mothers who came together and fought for economic justice in the s and came away with impressive wins. Moms can be badass, too!

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Sons and Loversby D.H. Lawrence

Written while his mother was ill, Sons and Lovers takes D.H. Lawrence’s own mother as the inspiration for the mother in the novel, and you can see how much the author adores his mother in the way he describes the character. With the main character basically struggling to find a romantic lover that he can love more than (and one hopes very differently than) his mother, the book has Oedipus complex written all over it. It’s basically a warning that admiring mom is all well and good, but don’t let it ruin you for that other type of love.

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New Ways to Kill Your Mother by Colm Tóibín

Don’t worry, it’s not actually about killing your mother. It’s actually a book of essays about the glaring lack of parents in so much of literature, and how that’s related to the often seriously complicated relationships many writers had with their parents in real life. By comparing the two, Toibin shows us how in some ways it’s necessary that literature forsake parents. It’s what lets us see a character as a person, rather than as only a mother or a daughter. Just think how hard it is in real life to remember that your mom isn’t just your mom, but, like, a whole other person!

Click here to buy.

Image: Ctd Flickr

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Reading List for Daughters of Toxic Moms

This is a wonderful list of books to consult! I already had a few of them, but will check into the others.

I often find myself searching Netflix for movies about toxic mother/daughter relationships. Haven&#;t found too many, so any suggestions would be great. I saw Mommie Dearest (yikes) years ago and I just finished watching &#;Sybil&#; again. I first saw &#;Sybil&#; when it aired on TV in the 70s and was completely blown away emotionally. Thankfully, my mother never subjected me to the psychotic physical abuse Sybil endured, but I could relate to a lot of the emotional abuse. Also, suggestions for novels involving toxic mother/daughter relationships would be of interest to me also. I&#;m constantly searching for ways to come to terms with the bad relationship I had with my mother, getting past it and feeling better about myself and life in general.

I&#;m new to this blog and slowly making my way through everything. So informative! Thank you for all the insights!


This post is sponsored by Mother Nile by Warren Adler

mother-nile-book-coverA dazzling triumph from the NYT bestselling author of The War of the Roses – high-caliber historical fiction that plunges readers into a rich, dark world of sex, power, politics, drugs, and Egypt.

A sweeping and ambitious novel spanning across two eras and the city at the center of it all,

Mother Nile is the story of Si, the American-born son of an Irish father and Egyptian mother, who goes on a journey through the winding streets of the City of the Dead in Cairo to solve a half-century-old mystery. When his mother makes an urgent plea on her deathbed, Si knows that he must go to Egypt to uncover the truth about his long-lost half-sister, conceived during his mother’s affair with King Farouk.

Mothers. We wouldn’t be here without them. (Yet.) There is probably no more complex relationship than that of a mother and her children. Some people claim their mother to be their best friends, others haven’t talked to their mothers in years. Some mothers left too soon, while others are way too meddlesome. Whether a mother is a saint, a monster, or something in between, here are great books about complicated mothers, both real and imaginary. (Okay, it’s 99 books and one short story, because Flannery is too good to miss.)

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  1. You Will Know MeYou Will Know Me by Megan Abbott
  2. Afterbirth by Elisa Albert
  3. Bastard Out of Carolina by Dorothy Allison
  4. Flowers in the Attic by V.C. Andrews
  5. Mom & Me & Mom by Maya Angelou
  6. The Middlesteins by Jami Attenberg
  7. The Seventh Book of Wonders by Julianna Baggott
  8. The Incarnations by Susan Barker
  9. Are You My Mother? A Memoir by Alison Bechdel
  10. The Mothers by Brit BennettThe Mothers by Brit Bennett
  11. Psycho by Robert Bloch
  12. Tell the Wolves I’m Home by Carol Rifka Brunt
  13. Running with Scissors by Augusten Burroughs
  14. 32 Candles by Ernessa T. Carter
  15. A Land More Kind Than Home by Wiley Cash
  16. The Daughters by Adrienne Celt
  17. Follow Her Home by Steph Cha
  18. The Manchurian Candidate by Richard Condon
  19. The Prince of Tides by Pat Conroy
  20. All Families are Psychotic by Douglas Coupland
  21. Mommie Dearest by Christina Crawford
  22. Breath, Eyes, Memory by Edwidge Danticat
  23. Here Comes the Sun by Nicole Dennis-BennHere Comes the Sun by Nicole Dennis-Benn
  24. Grace by Natashia Deón
  25. Blue Nights by Joan Didion
  26. The Good House by Tananarive Due
  27. Geek Love by Katherine Dunn
  28. Hausfrau by Jill Alexander Essbaum
  29. The Virgin Suicides by Jeffrey Eugenides
  30. This is Your Life, Harriet Chance by Jonathan Evison
  31. Postcards from the Edge by Carrie Fisher
  32. White Oleander by Janet Fitch
  33. Sharp Objects by Gillian Flynn
  34. The Ticking is a Bomb by Nick Flynn
  35. Coraline by Neil Gaiman
  36. A Mountain of Crumbs: A Memoir by Elena Gorokhova
  37. cover of we love you charlie freeman by kaitlyn greenidgeWe Love You, Charlie Freeman by Kaitlyn Greenidge
  38. All the Ugly and Beautiful Things by Bryn Greenwood
  39. In the Country We Love: My Family Divided by Diane Guerrero
  40. Ordinary People by Judith Guest
  41. Delicious Foods by James Hannaham
  42. The Nix by Nathan Hill
  43. The Mistress’s Daughter by A. M. Homes
  44. Roses and Rot by Kat Howard
  45. The Sleepwalker’s Guide to Dancing by Mira Jacobs
  46. Lies My Mother Never Told Me by Kaylie Jones
  47. silver sparrowSilver Sparrow by Tayari Jones
  48. The Liar’s Club: A Memoir by Mary Karr
  49. Almost Crimson by Dasha Kelly
  50. The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd
  51. Annie John by Jamaica Kincaid
  52. Glory O’Brien’s History of the Future by A.S. King
  53. Carrie by Stephen King
  54. Out by Natsuo Kirino
  55. Chanel Bonfire by Wendy Lawless
  56. The Expatriates by Janice Y.K. Lee
  57. Gone Baby Gone by Dennis Lehane
  58. Disquiet by Julia Leigh
  59. Then She Found Me by Elinor Lipman
  60. Furthermore by Tahereh Mafi
  61. The Twelve Tribes of Hattie by Ayana Mathis
  62. burn baby burnBurn Baby Burn by Meg Medina
  63. Big Little Lies by Liane Moriarty
  64. Beloved by Toni Morrison
  65. Dumplin’ by Julie Murphy
  66. Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov
  67. Ladivine by Marie NDiaye
  68. Shine Shine Shine by Lydia Netzer
  69. Everything I Never Told You by Celeste Ng
  70. A Good Man is Hard to Find by Flannery O’Connor
  71. Rooms by Lauren Oliver
  72. The Long Goodbye: A Memoir by Meghan O’Rourke
  73. Boy, Snow, Bird by Helen Oyeyemi
  74. Choke by Chuck Palahniuk
  75. Dirty River: A Queer Femme of Color Dreaming Her Way Home by Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha
  76.  eleanor and park by rainbow rowellEleanor & Park by Rainbow Rowell
  77. Push by Sapphire
  78. Where’d You Go, Bernadette by Maria Sempel
  79. Hamlet by William Shakespeare
  80. Oedipus Rex by Sophocles
  81. I’m Supposed to Protect You from All This: A Memoir by Nadja Spiegelman
  82. The Patrick Melrose Novels by Edward St. Aubyn
  83. East of Eden by John Steinbeck
  84. The Pink Hotel by Anna Stothard
  85. Modern Lovers by Emma Straub
  86. My Name is Lucy Barton by Elizabeth Strout
  87. This One Summer by Mariko Tamaki and Jillian Tamaki
  88. The Joy Luck Club by Amy Tan
  89. My Grandfather Would Have Shot Me: A Black Woman Discovers Her Family’s Nazi Past by Jennifer Teege
  90. Mayumi and the Sea of Happiness by Jennifer Tseng
  91. The Glass Castle by Jeanette Walls
  92. Among Others by Jo WaltonAmong Others by Jo Walton
  93. The Paying Guests by Sarah Waters
  94. Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood by Rebecca Wells
  95. One Crazy Summer by Rita Williams-Garcia
  96. Oh the Glory of It All by Sean Wilsey
  97. Why Be Happy When You Could Be Normal? A Memoir by Jeanette Winterson
  98. The Story of Edgar Sawtelle by David Wroblewski
  99. Shelter by Jung Yun
  100. Mother, Mother by Koren Zailckas

About issues books mommy

Ill spit on the head - Ill grease the head with your saliva. Dimka said, impatiently lifting himself up - bending his torso to Rasimovs groin; of course, saliva is not lubricant - not. Petroleum jelly, and nevertheless. clasping Rasim with his palms by the buttocks, Dimka sucked the head of Rasikov's penis into his mouth, having previously collected the maximum amount of saliva at.

Mommy Issues - 7 Signs In Females Part 1

Actually, they took me to visit one guy named Anton (the name of course has been changed). He turned out to be completely out of topic and without experience, but he really wanted to be downstairs, because he could not do it with his wife, due to the. Fact that she is a "notorious bitch.

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He almost killed this "rooster" because the sperm of the lowered, was considered in the zone, stuffed and the one on whom it got. Himself becomes a "rooster". As an example, they can become, just shake hands with the offended or take something from him. I still have this Vadim, I asked how this "cock" finished, he jerked off his dick.

Vadim answered me that he didn't jerk off, but the bastard finished himself from Vadim's penis, like a woman, and filled his.

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